5 Things to be Wary of when Hiring a Spiritual Coach
Not all coaches are of the same caliber. Just as it takes trial and error to find a doctor you vibe with, a therapist who gets you, a chiropractor you trust, it takes discernment to find and work with a spiritual mentor.
Before I got to where I am now, I worked with a fair share of life coaches and spiritual mentors. They did actually all individually contribute to changing my life. However, before answered my calling (as many of them call this work I’m here to do) I, too, was a seeker. I was really “porous” with my energy field (i.e. I took on every rando’s attacks), I had no boundaries, no container, and was surviving in a state of constant agitation.
Now that I’m fully rooted in my spiritual practice, with one foot in this realm and one in whichever other realm I choose, I wanted to share my non-exhaustive list of things to be wary of when hiring a spiritual mentor:
They don’t offer free get-to-know you calls or some other way of checking in energetically with each other. That means they are not vetting you, they are not checking in with their guides, they are not asking for your consent in checking in with their guides or any of the above combinations. If someone insists you give them money for a simple check in, it’s a red flag in my book.
Their heritage and whether or not they practice within it. There are many closed practices that one needs to be initiated within many people who do share biological heritage can be part of the same tradition. However, if they are utilizing teachings that are not of their heritage (the main ones being eastern philosophical approaches) and not having been initiated or educated specifically in those ways, steer clear. This includes only working with specific deities and not their own ancestors and guides.
One note regarding shamanism: the term itself originates from a Russian translation speaking to the tribe healer of the indigenous people of Siberia. There have always been shamans all over the world. The rules of animistic practice are as rigid as any other spiritual cosmological system and people can definitely access it freely but need proper guidance. Inquire.
Their agenda is their teachings / selling their course / etc instead of your needs, your priorities and investigating why you may desire one mode of service over another.
Lack of boundaries - I worked with incredible healers who just didn’t have a container to hold all the healing they were doing. If you are to be working with a mentor, consenting engagement and the rules thereof are of utmost importance. They should not be randomly telling you things or offering unsolicited guidance. I don’t care how gifted someone is, if they can’t contain it, they can’t integrate it, they have leaky boundaries and they are not fit to mentor.
Forcing you to buy by scaring you or preying on you in any way. I had a client (more than one) come to me in extreme distress because she were in a moment of crisis, I was not immediately available, and she met with a different spiritualist. The other provider preyed on her current state of weakness and convinced her that she was cursed and needed to spend upwards of $500 for a spell/clearing session and ritual to get rid of the energy. Because my client was in distress, she agreed to seeing them the next day. She then thankfully reached out to me and I met with her on one of my emergency sessions. We worked on her challenge together and I confirmed that she absolutely did not need to go work with that other person unless SHE wanted to - from a place of security, conviction, and empowerment. Not from a place of fear and scarcity. So if anyone makes you feel like you MUST make a decision NOW, that’s a clear sign you need to take a breather and walk away. Manipulation tactics abound.
Obviously these are not the only ones. The most important thing is to trust your knowing. If you’ve been in my space for a while you KNOW that’s my end-all-be-all. If anyone gives you the ick for any reason, step away.
Hope this helps you on your journey! And if you want to discuss anything I’m always here for a free coffee chat.
Delve deeper & re-connect —